Saturday, May 1, 2010



Now it's time to make someone's fantasies come true. I'm Officer Nguyen, and Miss Violet DeLaRaj has broken a LOT of my laws.

*face palm*

Hey Violet, it's Tila. I still feel horrible about what happened, so I bought you something. It's a surprise though and you have to come over, that's all I ask in return. Will you?

"You really shouldnt have gotten me anything, I'm still not ready to even start rethinking our friendship, but now you've given me no choice since you actually went to the trouble of getting me a present. See you in a few."

Excellent, sweetie. Cant wait! Muah!

Well hello, Violet. You look even prettier than the flower you're named after. However, I have a few concerns about your behavior lately... will you please step into my office for a second? You're not being charged with anything, I just need to ask you some questions.

"Tila... I dont even know what to say. Your eyes... ugh you look so messed up. I'm actually worried about you this time, are you alright? How many pills have you taken? What did you do?"

Calm down, I'm just kiddin' around with you, duh! I'm Officer Nguyen... remember when we used to role-play?

Come in though seriously, I've got some amazing chronic, YO! HEHEHE!

Violet was not in the mood for this shit.

"So THIS is your present? You all fucked up tempting me to do drugs with you while I'm trying to stay away from them?! You know how I get when I smoke weed with you. I always end up getting a panic attack, and that's how you convinced me to do pills to calm me down and enjoy the high. Eventually I became addicted to them and they ended up nearly killing me! So I occasionally treat myself to getting drunk, and you caught me at a bad time. I've been clean of everything else for five years, and I'm not about to throw that away just for a night I'll end up regretting the next morning. Thanks a lot, now you've gotten me so worried I cant leave you here alone until I'm sure you wont fucking DIE. You're such a bitch, you know that?!"

And people wonder why I'm always changing my mind about my sexuality! Women are so damn bitchy and men are just plain assholes!

"Oh, not this again. No one wonders, they already know. You just sleep with anyone who has money because that's the only thing that matters to you anymore. Money, getting fucked up, and getting fucked. What a life."

Whatever happened to having fun?! We're in our 20's, not 60's! You used to be fun, dont be a bitch or I'm going to have to handcuff you...

"Yeah I know, but we're almost 30, time to stop acting like we're still in the Playboy mansion! Those days are over, no offense but seriously, the drugs ARE taking a toll on your once not-so-hideous face. I'm just telling you the truth."

Oh my god that's so funny, that's exactly what my haters say! I LOVE IT!

Violet would rather be handcuffed by the real police and taken away at this point than handcuffed by this maniac. She'd rather be anywhere but here, yet here she was, stuck with a psychopath going through a potential overdose situation. She was moving soon, so she was thankful she'd be rid of this bullshit shortly.

"Just go inside before one of the neighbors hear you and calls the cops."

As if I even need you, I have USTREAM, where over 30 THOUSAND people watch me do the abosolute craziest shit for attention. I love doing shit and having it deleted the next day while denying it even happened. My god, what a RUSH fucking with people and stripping while about a fourth of the people say how hot I am, while the other 75 percent tell me I'm gross just 'cause they're jealous. It's so fun when you're fucked up, YOU SHOULD BE IN A MOVIE WITH ME!

"You know what is an even BETTER rush?! Actually having people like you and respect you for what you do, not be REPULSED by it! Are you really THAT far gone, now?!"

Ew no, that's a downer. Stop denying it, you're seducted by my presence. Oh and honey, we NEED to go shopping like, ASAP. I'm sick of seeing you in that outfit! I'd let you borrow an outfit of mine but I'm way more petite than you so you'd just rip it. Hehe!

Violet's legs were glued to the ground. Suddenly, she didnt feel like making sure Tila would be okay anymore. What was the point anyway? She didnt love herself anyway.

'What a lost idiot...' Violet thought to herself. She let out a long sigh and followed the swaying Tila inside.

I made salad and it's been sitting out all day, so take some, beeyatch before it goes to waste. You look like you're so hungry you could eat a cow as always, so take two plates. HEHEHE! I'm juuust kidding! But you DO weigh more than me, AND your bones are a tad on the thick side.

"TILA, ...shut the fuck up. Just because I'm not 4'11 and 80 pounds doesnt mean I'm fat you ignorant clueless bitch! I'm 5'4" and 117 pounds, I think I look pretty damn healthy compared to you."

Hahaha I'm just kidding! Your hater comments are so funny! You need to lighten up and take a joke! Now take this before I throw it at your chubby-cheeked face!

...And Tila wonders why every single person has rejected her so far... she needs to meet this fella soon:

(I cant believe I actually found this jacket online, I about died when I saw it. If the person who designed it is reading this right now, THANK YOU).

Remember this douchebag? Yeah, he will be making an appearance in this story very soon. I'm starting to get tired of the same-old-same-old with these characters...

Anyway, back to the trainwreck...

"Oh, you're taking up painting now? Interesting, what's it supposed to be?"

I dont know yet... but I can make it into a naked portrait of me and sign it, I'm sure it would sell for at least 10 grand.

"UGH! Dont you EVER get tired of telling extravagant idiotic lies?! It's ME, I've known you since you were 17! You keep claiming you're real, why?! If you want to exaggerate online to people that read your websites, that's your choice, but I'm not going to sit here and cater to your delusions! If you cant even be honest about a fucking painting, then obviously you have no interest in becoming my friend again!"

It's funny you mention exaggerating online to my haters and fans... because boy did I ever go innnn on you on my blog, MySpace, and Twitter. I wrote all SORTS of shit about you, nothing of which is true of course. But you said it yourself, if I want to exaggerate online that's MY choice, so you have no problem with it. That's great, and that's why I love you!

"...Huh?! That doesnt even make any sense! ...Wait, what? You wrote fake shit about me online?!"

It's just gossip, it's no worse than the fake shit other people write in gossip blogs. I mean duh... you should really get with the times and get online so you can read what they write about ME! They twist my words around and make up LIES about every little thing I say and do all the time! They screencap my deleted Twitter entries which isnt fair because if I delete something, IT MEANS IT NEVER HAPPENED! I think you can handle a little slander. You should be thanking me! I'm giving you publicity, tons of people were begging to give me your Twitter page afterwards, but YOU WONT GET ONE... so I made a fake one for you!

"So, let me get this straight. You think it's okay to make up lies about me, then make a fake Twitter account and pretend it's me? I can only IMAGINE what you're doing to my image. Thanks a fucking LOT, really. I appreciate it. Unfortunately for you, I doubt anyone even believes your stupid ass. Unlike YOU, I have a good reputation because I fly under the radar and only focus on making my fans happy. Shut it down, or I will expose your ass to the world. I DO have the Internet, I just choose not to use it the way you do because I dont have TIME. I'm working on a new album, writing lyrics and making my own music to go with them, and YOU'RE not helping by constantly bothering me!"

Hahaha, you're cute. If I were you, I'd defend myself and get online and make a Twitter account. I told you, the Internet is crazier than you think!

"I dont need to do SHIT, I'm out of here. Find a new person to prey on, I'm no longer returning your calls. Where's the bathroom?! That food was terrible!"

Second door to your right, BITCH!

This was another lame attempt at trying to seduce Violet, because this was the creepiest room she had ever seen. It had a trashy looking bathtub, horribly scented candles and incense, a CD player, a huge LCD television hooked up to a video camera, another laptop of course, and a dresser filled with god-knows-what. It also had just the faintest smell of piss.

'Fucking lovely. She hasnt even had a single person in this room with her yet. All she does in here is strip on her stupid camera and get off on looking at herself. I live across the street, I can hold my bladder. I dont to go look for this filth-bag's bathroom. I'm not putting myself through this anymore, I'm out of here.'

She felt like a moron of course, but at least she felt smarter, and that meant more to her than almost falling for Tila's bullshit, yet again. And with that, she was out.

Luckily for Violet, Tila would never contact her again. She gets bored quickly and she knew she could get SOMEone. It didnt matter to her and never did.

I have like, four other VERY rich people living right around me... duh, I am so done wasting my time with Miss Old-Baggage-Bitch and that stupid 'I wear my sunglasses at night' prude boy who makes up a stupid name instead of just using his own.

It's a shame you feel that way, because those two people were probably the only ones who could have potentially been your only true friends. even Izabell, she used to be a fan, and now you two are complete enemies. You even kicked her ass in public... over what?

Being a stupid hater who tried to give me advice that I dont need!

Oh, right. That's a perfect reason.

So she did some more Meth and painted furiously trying to finish her painting of death and destruction. When she got bored with that, she decided to go on UStream and act insane since she cant get anyone to be around her for more than 15 minutes.

After Tila was up all night going batshit crazy on her webcam, she reviewed herself on the bigscreen and came to a conclusion.

After trying to sell this disgusting picture of herself to several different gossip blogs and having each one reject her, she came up with the perfect plan to not only save money, but mooch money. Announce to the world that she would be looking for a roommate... and not only that, she claimed she would be CELIBATE for a WHOLE YEAR.

(If anyone remembers, Tila had talked about being celibate about two times back years ago on her MySpace blogs. That made me LOL).


Thanks for reading!

No comments:

Post a Comment