Friday, April 30, 2010

CHAPTER 9: TILA'S ULTIMATE WEAPONS: FAKENESS AND A FLOWER



**CLICK THE PICS FOR BETTER QUALITY**



After she got home, she turned into Fake-Crocodile-Tears-Tila, complete with flower in the hair.




She called Cyclone again and left a sob-story voicemail saying someone had just tried to break in and she was scared and lonely. After about five minutes, he returned her call.



"I just got your message, are you alright?!"


No! Cyclone, I'm really scared this time, plus I'm vulnerable. None of my friends are home and I just need someone here for a little while to make sure they dont come back.


After a long pause and a sigh, he agreed to come over to check things out.



About ten minutes later, he showed up.


"Half naked again I see. Great. Well, looks like everything's all clear. You cant be that worried if you're in a bikini sooo yeah. Next time you make me come out for nothing, you owe me gas money. Lock your doors and go to bed, Tila. Seriously, you're going to make me have to change my number."


HEY, I had just gotten back from the pool and had NO time to change!


"Dude, I was here in 10 minutes, how long does it take you to change into some clothes?"



Tila finally just stood there and said nothing, and for the first time, Cyclone was mildly attracted. That, and he hadnt gotten any action lately either, and all this talk about doing it wasnt helping.


Well, clearly you dont have any interest in me. I'll just keep myself awake all night. I havent slept for four days, but it's okay. I dont need sleep.




She then went back inside without saying so much as a goodbye. Cyclone was shocked and strangely intrigued.


"Hey Tila, what's up with you? You really seem upset."


He sighed and reluctantly took a small ziplock bag out of his pocket, filled to the brim with weed.


"Here, take this and sit down with me please. Lets talk, I'll pack us a bowl."


He was hoping that this might finally be the moment he could get her to really open up and at least give him some sort of clue as to what exactly was wrong with this woman. If she would just do that, he'd be interested in her. That kiss earlier wasnt exactly horrible, as much as he wanted to deny it.



I'm just going through a lot right now... I try so hard to make everybody happy but it just backfires in my face. My fiance died a few months ago, and while I was mourning, people ripped me apart. All because I mourn differently than them. Just because I'm different and express my feelings, they hate me. I almost committed suicide on UStream for anyone who wanted to see. That's just how much I want to make people happy, because a lot of people tell me they wish I would just die already and get it over with. Maybe I should.



"Well I'm glad you changed your mind. I cant imagine what that must have been like for you. Why do you put yourself through all this though? It sounds like you have shit-tons of people who dont agree with a lot of the things you do. Have you ever considered changing? I dont mean completely, but just a few minor things? I can help you. How long had you two known each other?"


A month... we got engaged after two days. I just knew it was love.


Cyclone was a bit put off by that.


"Okay. Seriously Tila, I can help you. Just trust me."




See that's exactly what I'm talking about! You are the THIRD person since I moved here to tell me that! Everyone is trying to change me! If you dont like me for who I am, there's the door. I'm not changing for ANYBODY, and if you dont like it, tough shit! I DONT NEED ANYONE'S HELP, GOT IT?! I made it to where I am ON MY OWN, thank you very much. See that door behind you? GO THROUGH IT. I'm a MOGUL.


"You could start by just listening and realizing that not everyone is out to attack you just because they dont agree with you..."


GET OUT, PSYCHO-CLONE(Tila was never clever nor witty with 'mean' nicknames).



"What the fuck are you doing out here, Tila? I am TIRED of this bullshit. Stop fuckin' calling me. And wipe that shit off your face, you look stupid. I'd tell you to go into acting but you're horrible at it. I see right through you. Bitch, no wonder you're known for being the Internet Slut or whatever, you're incapable of real relationships! I'm OUT!"




Oh so now I'm acting? You're an asshole, you dont deserve me. Karma's a bitch and you're about to find that out very shortly, asswipe. I am a MOGUL, AND THE FUTURE AMBASSADOR OF VIETNAM, BITCH!


"Hahah oh no! Sik one of your "Tila Army" members on me, I'd love the entertainment."




'I have never sprinted away from a woman before, this is definitely a first,' Cyclone thought.




Oh trust me, the more you run and piss me off, the happier and crazier I become. This isnt over, Cyc-lick-my-bone.


...What the hell kind of nickname was that?!





At least he forgot his weed here... mmm Tila just wants to get hiiigh-eee!


Oh I bet, you've been sober for so long, you must be suffering.




This is the face of a true future Ambassador Mogul. If you enlarge the picture, you can even see the bloodshot glazed-over eyes.


@SpikedTequila, this picture is for you. I hope your weed addiction problems have been getting better, that UStream message you left broke my heart. ;) haha no but seriously, I died laughing at that. Hope you havent been waking up naked in the bathtub lately!


Damn that was some good shit... mama TT needs some pancakes.




No wonder people hate me! I'd hate me too! High quality EVERYthing, baby. Now this is livin' the fuckin' life. JEALOUS, ANYONE?


*crickets*


COMING UP IN CHAPTER 10...




TILA STARS AS THE STONED POLICE OFFICER


Thanks for reading! Stay tuned... haha

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