The next morning, Tila had ran out of pills, so she was running on pure Meth. When she was on nothing but Meth, her manipulation and insanity went into overdrive.
I wonder what my wonderful friend VIOLET is up to today... she lives right across the street from me... time to say hello!
'I will win over this rich bitch if it's the last thing I do,' she thought, with her main goal, "Gold digger" in mind...
"Oh my god, Tila! Uh, hi! Wasnt exactly expecting you here... I havent talked to you in ages, how have you been? Enjoying the new neighborhood?"
Obviously she had no recollection of her drunken escapade from the previous night. Luckily for Tila, she was incapable of caring, so she played along.
Hi sweetie, I know it's been forevvvvver. I totally miss you. Isnt it stupid that we let a silly little thing like you being jealous of my success get in the way of our friendship?
Violet actually knew Tila, and she was well aware that Tila was always too proud to admit that she wasnt the successful amazingly rich famous person she made herself out to be. But since Violet had a heart, she let it slide.
"Yeah, it's pretty silly... so hey, would you like something to drink? My boy--"
Okay good, so we're friends again. I love you, always have. So if you ever hurt me... I'LL FUCKIN' KILL YOU. You're no DJ, but you'll do. Lets kiss and make up.
'WHAT THE FUCK!!!!' Violet screamed in her head. As soon as Tila kissed her, Violet had a flashback of the other night and suddenly remembered running into her and kissing her. She immediately had to fight the urge not to vomit in Tila's mouth just then.
'Oh my god... I have GOT to stop going to bars alone!!! Terrence is going to kill me!' She thought.
Terrence, her boyfriend of only a few days was sitting right in the next room watching television. He had no idea what was going on, but he certainly wouldnt complain if his girlfriend was making out with another woman. He might get a little upset once he realizes the 'other girl' is Tila Tequila, a deadly alien-like STD in heels. Terrence is actually a pretty shitty guy, but he hides it well because he knows how to play the game.
"Tila, I remember what happened now. How COULD you?! My boyfriend is right in the next room! I'm sorry but you know what really went down between us years ago and why we are no longer friends. I was never jealous or hated you for what you were becoming. I was happy for you and you know that. I want to be friends again but I... I just cant be with you okay?"
Honey you are so cute. I cant believe we ever drifted apart. We live right next to each other now, it's fate! Men are assholes. They're losers, Violet. He's just going to hurt you. Besides, isnt he married to that red-headed bitch who botched her face with plastic surgery?!
"WHAT?! That's ridiculous! He couldnt possibly be married, he's so sweet and caring... he's amazing. Look, here's the thing. I was into the whole experimentation thing back in the day but I think I've finally picked a side and crossed over from Vaginaland to Penisville and I dont want to leave. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
Damn well that's a shame... I actually do know for a fact that he's married. I saw him and his wife standing outside of their house making out while I was walking around the neighborhood. Definitely looks like they live together to me, but hey whatever. You wanna get hurt, go for it. Dont come crying to me when he dumps you or his wife comes angrily knocking at your door.
"Oh my god... that woman he claimed was an ex from years ago, with the red hair... he's really married to her?! Wow, I am such an idiot. Really? Are you serious? So it's true then!? Ugh! I'm a... a homewrecker!"
Aw, wifey you didnt know... it's not your fault. I still love you...
Unfortunately for Violet, Tila was actually telling the truth...
Terrence was indeed married to Slutbag (refer to Preview For Chapter 4 for a mind refresher if you want).
"I should have known that asshole was cheating on me. When I found that picture of a hideous red-headed girl whose smile made her look like she was in pain in his wallet, I asked him about it. He was just like, 'Oh I totally forgot that picture was in there, it's just an ex girlfriend from college who turned into a major bitch. She means nothing to me, babe.' Such bullshit! And the odd hours he works... claims to have a 'night job'... well I certainly dont see any income from him! He thinks he can just use me for sex and a comfortable home while his poor unsuspecting wife is wondering what's going on? Dammit, I always do this! I need to go to the bathroom and collect my thoughts for a minute."
You go in the bathroom, sweetie. I'll take care of this asshole for you.
"Thanks, T... you're the best."
I know, right?!
"Uh... right..." Violet forgot she hated giving her compliments, because she never actually appreciated them.
"I really want to believe you're being honest with me. I've known you for over 10 years, and we were together, on and off, for those 10 years. You at least owe me your honesty after what you've put me through. I can really be a true friend to you... everyone needs one, even strong bitches like us."
Sure, but you really need to read up on my article about PUSSY POWER!!! I'm an independent woman, and you need to be these days!
"Um... suure... I might... uhh..." Violet was starting to lose hope and patience, but she wanted to see how Tila would deal with the Terrence issue. She was always willing to give people a second chance. Perhaps that was her biggest downfall, but when someone has a big heart and they see someone in front of them falling apart, they just cant let them shrivel up and die without at least a chance.
Right, okay well like I said, go into the bathroom, I'll take care of jackass for you.
Hello, Terrence. Just so you know, I'm Violet's new lover now so go back to your plastic surgery wife before I tell her what you've been up to. Violet already knows, so I'm sure if you just get your sorry deadbeat ass out of here now, there wont be any trouble.
"Aw geez I didnt want to hurt anyone... hey, arent you Tila Tequila? Wow... I mean, wow... I love you, I cant believe I'm standing in front of THEE Tila Tequila. Damn, if I woulda known I'd be standing in front of the most famous hot chick on the Internet, I would have stayed longer at the gym to buff up extra hot for ya'z. God you are so hot, say my name again!"
(Told you this guy was a douchebag).
Well, Mr. Buff guy... I know some exercise moves that will get you in shape... but you need two people to do it or you wont get the full potential of your workout...
Tila has an amazing case of 'I could really have some amazing friends and be truly happy but I'd rather pretend to have Alziemers and fuck everyone's lives up including my own instead.'
Violet could hear everything that was going on. She was so distracted about what to do next, she ended up clogged the toilet. Violet remembered someone saying that Tila seemed to bring bad luck wherever she went. Violet was no idiot about one thing. She knew about Casey Johnson, and what really happened. The Johnsons had way too much class to reveal what really happened to their daughter. It's certainly not the public's business, and it would further spin Tila into the insanity web she had spun the day she realized the Internet was giving her some sort of fame. Violet wasnt one for confrontations, but when one was absolutely necessary, she wasnt one to back down.
Violet came out of the bathroom while Tila was truly hitting on this man all gooey eyed and hunched over, telling him he gave her butterflies. 'It's amazing how I seem to surround myself with assholes without even trying,' she thought to herself.
"Terrence, go home to your wife. Tila, a word, please."
"I heard everything you said to him. Tila, you were really flirting with him. You dont even LIKE him! Do you enjoy backstabbing EVERYone in your life?"
Honey I wasnt serious. This guy is a loon. If he would have come home with me, I would have freaked him out so bad he would have turned gay! *Insert Tila's annoying tee-hee-laugh here*
Terrence was under the impression he was being fought over by two women. He was just as deluded as Tila. He liked it at first, but when Tila mentioned turning him gay, things turned sour.
"LEAVE, TERRENCE," Violet shouted again.
"I'm going I'm going! I just think Tila here owes us an explanation. She hit on ME too, so I think she's bullshitting you. I know I'm a dick but I'm not gonna be the only bad guy here, you're just as bad Tila, lying to her 'n shit. Fuck you!"
Dont flatter yourself, little boy. I flirt with EVERYone, even my 14 year old fans. Trust me, you wouldnt have even walked away with my phone number. I can do whatever I want, 'cause I just dont GIVE A FUUUUCK!
Violet sweetie, I'm going to go. I would never sleep with that guy, please believe me. Kick this asshole out and lets hang out for a while at my place.
"Tila, I really want to believe you right now, but I just cant. You could have approached the situation entirely different. I'm sick of your bullshit. You know what? I need YOU to leave too, and put yourself on medication you actually NEED, instead of making your mental illness worse by mixing uppers, downers, and whatever else you're on. I dont want that shit around me, you know I'm a recovering addict. I've been clean for FIVE years, ever since you and I stopped speaking, and already you're making me feel like I'm going to relapse. NOW GET OUT!"
Just sleep on it. You'll come around. I'll call you... and by the way, good luck with that sobriety thing. I had no idea judging by the way you were stumbling around at the club making out with me the other night. Bye now.
**STAY TUNED FOR CHAPTER 8: TILA THE MILF'S "VERY EXPENSIVE" HAT**
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